The first major question which you have to
ask yourself is, "Why is your child involved
in skating"? The answer should be for enjoyment, for a sense of sportsmanship
and accomplishment, and to socialize with other kids.
Often we give children mixed messages. We insist that they are participating
for
the joy and the love of the sport, and yet we are the first to ask how
well they have
done or to look at the result board. We must recognize that our sons
and daughters
will be the same sons and daughters before and after an event, whether
they place
first, third
or fifteenth.
As parents we typically provide challenges and goals for our child at attain.
The
parent molds a passion for excellence and rewards dedication, commitment,
and
hard work. Skaters soon learn that by displaying their commitment
to skating and
fulfilling parental expectations, they reap many rewards.
However, be aware that your skater's own ambitions may begin to conflict
with
yours. Watch for these changes and be prepared to step back, giving
the
skater autonomy. Your lofty expectations and encouragement my bring
the skater
to a relatively high level of achievement, but when it no longer proves
to be an
incentive or when these expectations prove to be unrealistic, parents must
rethink
their intentions.
Parents should also be aware that some skaters allow parents to control
their
dreams in an attempt to please their parents. Skaters perceptions
of what
parents expect, sometimes results in skaters placing demands upon themselves
that are unattainable. When we push skaters to excel, they may think
we are
asking them to prove that they are committed. Parents should learn
to accept
and honor the devotion skaters give to their sport. It is the parent's
responsibility
to accept the skater's goals, and help foster and guide the athlete in
achieving their
dreams.
The trust that develops as a result of parents allowing their skaters to
control their
own dreams is everlasting. Skaters learn that other dimensions of
their personality
are valued. Often, expressing a deep belief in the skater's ability
to make
decisions enhances the skater's sense of independence and self confidence.
These attributes can create the basis upon which a skater's dream unfolds.
However, parents must prepare themselves to let go of their children and
their
skating career, permitting them to move on to new horizons.
NEXT